Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life
Cynthia KimNerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate: A User Guide to an Asperger Life Sözleri ve Alıntıları
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I’m more comfortable making eye contact with people I know very well or hardly at all. People who I know somewhat (professors, fellow students, business acquaintances) are the ones who are the most difficult to look in the eyes.
When I experience discomfort with eye contact, it’s more than simply feeling awkward or socially uncomfortable. I literally start to feel that if I look into the person’s eyes for even one second longer I’ll have to flee the room. The classic “fight or flight” symptoms suggest that my brain is perceiving the sustained eye contact as a threat. Why is this? And why does it happen most strongly with people who I consider acquaintances but not strangers or intimates?
Facial expressions are the same—I can read the basics. I can decipher the basic emotions like happiness, sadness, surprise, anger, and confusion. More subtle expressions—those that rely heavily on the use of the eyes and the area around the eyes to understand—are much harder.
The people around me are smiling and I have either a blank look or an uncomfortable, when-is-this-going-to-be-over expression. Occasionally, it’s obvious I’m faking a smile, which only makes me look like I’m in pain.
Where other adults seem to rely on gut reactions and intuitive responses, I rely on a catalog of past experiences for navigating social interactions. I look for patterns and test out communication strategies like a scientist conducting an experiment.
because of a very real hazard, we develop anxiety that for us has a very real cause. It isn’t disordered. It’s a defense mechanism, developed through “the association of certain stimuli with unpleasant consequences.”