FIG TREE
"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."
- Sylvia Plath
“Kötü bir anıyı unutmanın en iyi yolu güzel bir tanesiyle değişmektir.”
She was wishing him well with someone else. Wanting better-for a future woman, a future family because she knew he could be that man... just not with her anymore.
No future
The more you understand this world, the more you destroy yourself. That's why fools are happy, and intelligent people live in loneliness.
youtu.be/XuiHrkWImSw?si=...
As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth.
Today, I know, this is "AUTHENTICITY".
As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me.
Today I call it "RESPECT".
As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow.
Today I call it "Maturity".
As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance,I am in the right place at the right time,
and everything happens at the exactly right moment.
So I could be calm.
Today I call it "SELF-CONFIDENCE".
As I began to love myself I quit steeling my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future.
Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness,
things I love to do and that make my heart cheer,
and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm.
Today I call it "SIMPLICITY".
As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything
that is no good for my health - food, people, things, situations, and everything the drew me down and away from myself.
At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism.
Today I know it is "LOVE OF ONESELF".
As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time.
Today I discovered that is "MODESTY".
As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worry about the future.
Now, I only live for the moment, where EVERYTHING is happening.
Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it "FULFILLMENT".
As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and