Even my closest ones haven't seen my English writings but I do this a lot. I didn't share them because most of the people around me wouldn't understand a thing. Currently I just want to express myself in here, so I'll kick the grammatically corrections out and let my thoughts speak louder than those 'rules'.
I'll shed some silly tears so forgive me by now. Actually my life is relatively very good. Still I got a feeling like, it's not. Don't get me wrong it's not about money or something, but something emotional. Doing things, listening some music, watching videos, laughing, enjoying and even playing chess had became meaningless. I am looking for a life partner for a while and by the way it makes me extremely embarrassed. Like it's something forbidden but I am the one who is not obeying. I wrote some girls in a proper way and they didn't responde. That encouraged the feeling more that I shouldn't do that. Is this something to be ashamed of? I feel like a Sims character whose social need bar is really fucked up unlike any others. Side effects of being lonely hit me like a bullet. The time-upset chart of my life is increasing exponentially. Yes I'm able to talk with a girl if someone type me back. I know myself that I am not a weirdo or an awkward person. But as they are not responding I am questioning myself like am I not enough? Do I need to prove myself? Putting some show and skills to everyones eyes like yelling like HEAR MY VOICEEE EVERYBODY. Also this unbalanced demand to the girls in this country is unbelievable. If you don't believe me just go ahead and download some dating apps. Sign in with 2 different accounts. A handsome boy and a standart girl. Go ahead. Anyway, at this point writing is not helping. Anyone, any help would be perfect. Because I am so damn
I Need A DollarMüzik
I need a dollar, dollar, a dollar is what I need
(Hey, hey)
Well, I need a dollar, dollar a dollar is what I need
(Hey, hey)
And I said I need dollar, dollar, a dollar is what I need
And if I share with you my story, would you share your dollar with me?
Bad times are coming, and I reap what I done sowed
(Hey, hey)
Well, let me tell you something all that glitters ain't gold
(Hey, hey)
It's been a long, old, trouble, long, old, troublesome road
And I'm looking for somebody come and help me carry this load
“Kötü bir anıyı unutmanın en iyi yolu güzel bir tanesiyle değişmektir.”
Did you hear about the girl who got frozen by timeMüzik
Help, I'm still at the restaurant
Still sitting in a corner I haunt
Cross-legged in the dim light
They say, "What a sad sight"
I, I swear you could hear a hair pin drop
Right when I felt the moment stop
Glass shattered on the white cloth
Everybody moved on
I, I stayed there
Dust collected on my pinned-up hair
They expected me to find somewhere
Some perspective, but I sat and stared
“I'm drinkin' till I can't speak
You find me at the bar
And everybody's watchin'
You put me in the car
Now I'm curled up in the backseat
Like a dirty dog
The way you're lookin' at me
Dear, help me, God”
Dirty Dog-David Kushner
SkyDxddy - All AloneMüzik
"Somebody once tried to tell me; don't depend on anybody.
Yet, i'm begging you for help. Why don't you save me, from myself?"
"Zamanında birileri bana 'Kimseye Güvenme!' demeye çalışmıştı.
Fakat sana yardım için yalvarıyorum. Beni neden kendimden korumuyorsun?"