Goodwill is not enough; we need to learn the art of making others happy.
... observe your mental formations, the ideas and tendencies within you that lead you to speak and act as you do. Notice how you are influenced by your individual consciousness and also by the collective consciousness of your family, ancestors, and society.
The Buddha observed, “The person who suffers most in this world is the person who has many wrong perceptions, and most of our perceptions are erroneous.” You see a snake in the dark and you panic, but when your friend shines a light on it, you see that it is only a rope. You have to know which wrong perceptions cause suffering.
When we are in the grips of fear, we close down and can’t be compassionate or generous. To love others, we first have to be loving and gentle with ourselves.
If, during the critical moment when the emotion is there, we know how and where to take refuge, if we are able to breathe in and out and focus our attention on the rise and fall of our abdomen for fifteen or twenty or even twenty-five minutes, then the storm will roll away, and we will be aware that we can survive. When we succeed in surviving strong emotions, we experience a more solid peace of mind. Once we have got the practice, we are no longer afraid. The next time a strong emotion arises, it becomes easier. We already know that we can survive it.
There are several simple methods for taking care of our strong emotions. One is “belly breathing,” breathing from the abdomen. When we are caught in a strong emotion like fear or anger, our practice is to bring our attention down to the abdomen. To stay on the level of the intellect is not safe. Strong emotions are like a storm, and to stand in
If you are locked into the idea of a separate self, you have great fear. But if you look deeply and are capable of seeing “you” everywhere, you lose that fear.
Fearlessness is not only possible, it is the ultimate joy.
When we understand that we are more than our physical bodies, that we didn’t come from nothingness and will not disappear into nothingness, we are liberated from fear.
The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source. Instead of trying to escape from our fear, we can invite it up to our awareness and look at it clearly and deeply.