Even my closest ones haven't seen my English writings but I do this a lot. I didn't share them because most of the people around me wouldn't understand a thing. Currently I just want to express myself in here, so I'll kick the grammatically corrections out and let my thoughts speak louder than those 'rules'.
I'll shed some silly tears so forgive me by now. Actually my life is relatively very good. Still I got a feeling like, it's not. Don't get me wrong it's not about money or something, but something emotional. Doing things, listening some music, watching videos, laughing, enjoying and even playing chess had became meaningless. I am looking for a life partner for a while and by the way it makes me extremely embarrassed. Like it's something forbidden but I am the one who is not obeying. I wrote some girls in a proper way and they didn't responde. That encouraged the feeling more that I shouldn't do that. Is this something to be ashamed of? I feel like a Sims character whose social need bar is really fucked up unlike any others. Side effects of being lonely hit me like a bullet. The time-upset chart of my life is increasing exponentially. Yes I'm able to talk with a girl if someone type me back. I know myself that I am not a weirdo or an awkward person. But as they are not responding I am questioning myself like am I not enough? Do I need to prove myself? Putting some show and skills to everyones eyes like yelling like HEAR MY VOICEEE EVERYBODY. Also this unbalanced demand to the girls in this country is unbelievable. If you don't believe me just go ahead and download some dating apps. Sign in with 2 different accounts. A handsome boy and a standart girl. Go ahead. Anyway, at this point writing is not helping. Anyone, any help would be perfect. Because I am so damn
The way somebody comes back, but only in a dream
The way the plovers cry goodbye.
The way the dead fox keeps on looking down the hill with open eye.
The way the leaves fall, and then there's the long wait.
The way someone says we must never meet again.
The way mold spots the cake,
The way sourness overtakes the cream.
The way the river water rushes by, never to return.
The way the days go by, never to return.
The way somebody comes back, but only in a dream.
Mary Oliver
Her çiçeğin bir mevsimi, her kitabın bir zamanı vardır. Haziranın tadını yeni hikâyelerle çıkarın.
Bugun size ingilizce şiir
The sands on the beach and your yellow hair
Mary had said, “You’re not really that romantic
And actually, you’re not that beautiful either
And maybe you’re not even happy
For having slept with someone as good as me.”
She said these words among the families of cursed people,
While those passing by stared at her beautiful bikini,
Looking into my eyes that I kept avoiding.
And yes, I didn’t care about their gazes
Because I had already gotten used to it
And felt estranged from the body lying next to me.
And on that beach, no one had a finer ass than hers.
I grabbed my beer and walked toward the sea, careless.
It was better to see my belly floating in the water.
As she threw her bottle and walked back to the shore,
I looked at Mary and said:
“Yes, I’m not romantic,
I hate those damned love poems
And the words of people who know nothing about sex.
Yes, I’m not beautiful, I’m a drunk with a damned belly,
And maybe I’m writing the shittiest things in the world—
But I take joy in this style.
Yet I’m happy to have slept with someone like you;
It’s better than doing it with my hand.
And I don’t give a damn if cursed people stare at you.
I only hope you’re not unhappy
For having slept with a maniac like me.”
Mary just kept looking into my eyes.
Through her yellow hair, tears gathering in her pupils,
I will be looking Forward to It
“I wish I were dead rather than her being taken,” he confessed and leaned
forward as if he sought reassurances.
“But you are with me.” She spread her hands over his shoulders and
pulled him in until his face was inches from hers. “I’m going to stand up
from this floor, leaking tits and all, and I’m going to burn down the entire
world to get her back.”
He stared at her as if he’d never seen her before. His eyes tinged in slight
fear. Let him fear her. They should’ve all feared her from the beginning.
She had it in her. She’d always had it in her. But now the dragon was loose.
Unchained.
“What about your dear peace, Almira? Don’t you want that anymore?”
Alton asked with slight apprehension.
“I want my daughter!” Almira screamed as she clutched him tighter. His
jaw twitched. She couldn’t control her emotions any longer, launching
herself from grief, to anger, to disappointment. She was a storm.
She caressed his face and nuzzled his cheek, then pulled back. He beheld
her carefully, and she smiled, caressing his lip. He fretted needlessly. She
soothed his beard and smiled darkly, pecking his lips.
“Don’t worry, my love. You always called me a dragon. Well… I think
it’s high time I lived up to my name. I will lay countries to ruin to get her
back. Let the Favia feast.”
Agatha Christie novel-like movie recommendations
1. murder in the mansion– salute to agatha christie
1. knives out (2019)
A modern agatha christie narrative. The detective, who investigates the death of the rich writer, reveals family secrets one by one.
2nd clue (1985)
A murder game with strange characters gathered in a mansion and three different endings. One of the classics of black humor.
3. see how they run (2022)
Murder and detective parody set in the London theater world. aesthetic, light and fun.
Murder by Death (1976)
The peak of the parody. famous detective typings gather in a house, things quickly become absurd.
5. crooked house (2017)
After the poisoning of the wealthy old man, secrets are poured out among the family members. cold, classy and clear.
Murder on the 2nd holiday – blood in the sun, doubt on the sun lounger
6. death on the nile (2022)
A murder based on love and jealousy, which takes place on the luxury ship. Elegance and detective are intertwined.
1. slay
anlam: harika görünmek, bir şeyi mükemmel şekilde yapmak, “parlamak”.
kullanım: özellikle dış görünüm veya sahne performansları için kullanılır.
örnek: “girl, you slayed that outfit!” – kızım, o kıyafeti resmen yıktın!
2. ghosting
anlam: birine aniden mesaj atmayı ve aramayı kesmek, hiçbir açıklama yapmadan ortadan kaybolmak.
kullanım: flört ve arkadaşlık ilişkilerinde yaygındır.
örnek: “we were texting every day and then she ghosted me.” – her gün mesajlaşıyorduk, sonra bir anda kayboldu.
3. cap / no cap
anlam:
• cap = yalan, abartı
• no cap = gerçek, ciddi söylüyorum
kullanım: bir şeyin doğru ya da yanlış olduğunu vurgulamak için.
örnek: “that was the best pizza ever, no cap!” – bu şimdiye kadar yediğim en iyi pizzaydı, yemin ederim!
4. rizz
anlam: flört etme karizması, etkileme becerisi.
kullanım: genelde erkeklerin karşı cinsi etkileme kabiliyeti için kullanılır.
örnek: “he got zero rizz.” – en ufak karizması yok.
5. sus
anlam: suspicious (şüpheli) kelimesinin kısaltması. tuhaf, garip davranışlar için.
kullanım: özellikle oyun dünyasında popülerleşti (among us).