Esma
@maroonesma
"Crawling is better than nothing."
10 okur puanı
Kasım 2022 tarihinde katıldı
Şu anda okuduğu kitap
Okuma Hedefleri
“Had substance & sinew, damage you could see by looking between your hands & hearing blood. It was called reading, they told me, too late. But too late. I red. I made a killing in language & was surrounded by ghosts. I used my arsenal
of defunct verbs & broke into a library of second chances, the ER. Where they bandaged my head, even as the black letters kept seeping through, like this. Back there, I couldn’t get the boys to look at me even in my best jean jacket. / Did I tell you? I come from a people of sculptors whose masterpiece was rubble. We tried. Indecent, tongue-tied, bowl-cut & diabetic, I had a feeling. The floorboards creaked as I wept motionless by the rehab window. If words, as they claimed, had no weight in our world, why did we keep sinking, Doctor—I mean Lord—why did the water.”
Sayfa 102Kitabı okudu
“That one night, very soon, you’ll pack a bag with your favorite paperback & your mother’s .45, that the surest shelter was always the thoughts above your head. That it’s fair—it has to be— how our hands hurt us, then give us the world. How you can love the world until there’s nothing left to love but yourself. Then you can stop.
Then you can walk away—back into the fog -walled minefield, where the vein in your neck adores you to zero. You can walk away. You can be nothing & still breathing. Believe me.”
Sayfa 95Kitabı okudu
“You are something made, then made to survive—which means you are somebody’s son.”
Sayfa 95Kitabı okudu
Okur Takip Önerileri
“Because the butterfly’s yellow wing flickering in black mud was a word stranded by its language. Because no one else was coming—& I ran out of reasons.
So I gathered fistfuls of ash, dark as ink, hammered them into marrow, into a skull thick enough to keep the gentle curse of dreams. Yes, I aimed for mercy— but came only close as building a cage around the heart. Shutters over the eyes. Yes, I gave it hands despite knowing that to stretch that clay slab into five blades of light, I would go too far. Because I, too, needed a place to hold me. So I dipped my fingers back into the fire, pried open the lower face until the wound widened into a throat,
until every leaf shook silver with that god -awful scream & I was done.
& it was human.”
Sayfa 85Kitabı okudu
“That mercy is small but the earth is smaller. / Because I stopped apologizing into visibility. Because this body is my last address. Because right now, just before morning, when it’s blood-blue & the terror incumbent. Because the sound of bike spokes heading home at dawn was unbearable. Because the hills keep burning in California. Through red smoke, singing. Through the singing, a way out.
Because only music rhymes with music. / The train whistle heard through an opened window after a nightmare.
My mother, standing at the mirror, putting on blush before heading to chemo.
Sleeping in the back seat, leaving the town that broke me, whole. Early snow falling from a clear, blushed sky.
As if called.”
Sayfa 82Kitabı okudu