We need to look closely at our relationships to see whether they are based primarily on mutual need or on mutual happiness. We have a tendency to think that our partner has the power to make us feel good and that we’re not okay unless we have that other person there. We think, “I need this person to take care of me, or I will not survive.”
If your relationship is based on fear rather than on mutual understanding and happiness, it doesn’t have a solid foundation. You may feel you require that person for your own happiness. And yet at some point you may find the presence of the other person to be a nuisance and want to get rid of him. Then you know for sure that your feelings of peace and security did not really come from that person.