What was that sacred and terrible, elusive smell in the air this time? My name is Ambrosius Saint-Miro, the locals call me “Ambrosius Pyhä-Mirä” and in Graad they call me “Svjata-Mira”. “Diduska?” they ask, their eyes wide with affection, but I answer them: “No. I am not your diduska.” I am Ambrosius Santa-Mira from Mesque, Ambrosio Hagiamira, I am ambrosia, the holy world. You chose me, authorised me with your life, your thoughts, your mind cabinet. At night, when you went to sleep and tomorrow morning, from the window of public transport. But what I do is no longer a conversation, there are no arguments here, no sides to choose. The time for doubt is over.
I come once in every era. It is a great fortune to live when I am in the world. I am innocent and now you are too. If you decided, then it was either right or wrong. If I decide, my decision is what is. When God still seemed like an interesting idea to you, I was Pius Pericarnassus; I was Ernö Pasternak – you wanted to be betrayed and slaughtered. I made you sing Pasternakian songs. That’s how fierce I am and my unnecessary war. You wanted to hate me then. I was Franconegro, you were nationalists, you wanted international, black coloured banknotes and militarism. Wanted to work in the factory, serve God. And medieval-industrial architecture, wanted to live under a concrete arch. I was a woman, Dolores Dei when it seemed to you: I want a mother, a perfect mother. I had beautiful breasts, I was young and so were you, you wanted to fall in love and I let you. Humanism, and Renaissance, care for each other. I sent you to school and taught you languages. You got tired of me, and I died. You wanted a world where I didn’t exist. Then I was your innocent Sola, an indifferent girl, sitting with folded hands and watching