It is sobering to realize that many of the personality traits we have come to believe are us, and perhaps even take pride in, actually bear the scars of where we lost connection to ourselves, way back when. The sources of these scars are most often evident in their shape, so to speak: in many cases, specific traits can be traced to particular kinds of wounding. For example, if we don't receive the agenda-free, unconditional attention we all require, one way to guard against that deprivation is to become concerned with physical attractiveness or other attention-getting attributes or accomplishments. A child who does not experience himself as consistently and unconditionally lovable may well grow to be preternaturally likable or charming, as with many a politician or media personality. Someone who is not valued or recognized for who she is early in life may develop an outsize appetite for status or wealth. If we are not made to feel important for just who we are, we may seek significance by becoming compulsive helpers -a syndrome I know intimately.
Reklam
Erdoğan likewise introduced excessive amounts of ‘respect’ into Turkish politics after he came to power in 2002. He repeatedly demonstrated to the Turkish people that respect no longer had to be earned, it could simply be unconditionally demanded. Whenever there were serious poll-rigging claims, he demanded respect for ‘my people and their choices’, just as he demanded respect for court decisions only when they resulted in his opponents being imprisoned. However, when the Constitutional Court decided to release journalists arrested for criticising him, he said, ‘I don’t respect the court decision and I won’t abide by it.’ As with Orbán, Trump and others, respect is a one-way street for Erdoğan: he only accepts being on the receiving end.
Fourth Estate
"i love you, little bro," he whispers. "i need you to know that. i need you to know you’re the first person i loved unconditionally and always will. i might annoy you, might act like a dick to get your attention, but that’s only because the thought of losing you scares the living fuck out of me."
"love you, too, lan.” i exhale against his neck, my chest nearly bursting with emotions.
we remain like that for what seems like forever before he reluctantly pulls back. "you tell anyone what i said just now and i’ll deny it till the day i die."
being with the person i love the most in the world, and having a family that loves me unconditionally, no matter what i'm like, makes me truly happy right now.
chapter 21
I was the odd one out. I didn't mind it; I would rather be single and content than in a relationship and miserable. But there were slivers of time when I wondered how it would feel to exist in the world knowing there was someone who loved me totally, unconditionally, and whole-heartedly for who I was instead of who they wanted me to be.
Sayfa 180 - epub — Sloane's POV
Reklam
Reklam