But when I in advertently groaned because I was really in pain, they started the rumor that I was faking suffering. The world is out of joint.
Doesn't that mean in effect that I have no choice but suicide?
In spite of my suffering, at the thought that I was sure to end up by killing myself, I cried aloud and burst into tears.
I know that I am liked by other people but I seem to be deficient in the faculty to love others.
(I should add that I have very strong doubts as to whether even human beings really possess this faculty.)