"Fuck it, just run. Amari and CJ are on their own. They’re big guys. They can save themselves.”
“All right, he’s gone,” Zac advised me a moment later. “Let’s wait a sec. I want to see if they scream too.”
I kept my eyes closed but my ears open.
“Oh hell no, this is the devil’s work,” I was pretty sure CJ hollered.
Mom says dwelling in your feelings is no way to live, that there will always be something to be upset about and the secret to a happy life is not to let yourself be dragged down into negativity. She doesn’t understand how satisfying sadness can be; hours spent rocking in the hammock with Fiona Apple in my ears make me feel better than happy.
Sayfa 20Kitabı okudu
The Stolen Child-W. B. Yeats
En sevdiğim şiirlerden biri;
Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water rats;
There we've hid our faery vats,
It's ﷲ...
"I have One bodyguard. He has no eyes though He sees. He has no ears though He hears. He remembers everything with the aid of mind and memory. When He wishes to create a thing, He just orders it to be and it comes into existence, but this order does not convey the words which takes the tongue to form like our sound carries ears. He hears the secrets of those on the quite thoughts. He stops those whom, whose that? That’s God Allah. He’s my bodyguard. He’s your bodyguard. He’s the Supreme."
Muhammed Ali
rahmet ve minnetle... 🥀
#03/06/2016
The Eighteen Types (of Seducer's Victims)
1) The Reformed Rake or Siren:
People of this type were once happy-go lucky seducers who had their way with the opposite sex. But the day came when they were forced to give this up—someone corraled them into a relationship, they were encountering too much social hostility, they were getting older and
Sayfa 150Kitabı okudu
He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.
-Sigmund Freud
Sayfa 3Kitabı okudu
How can we talk when I have no voıce and you have no ears?
Sesim ve kulağım yokken nasıl konuşabiliriz...
(özgürlük)
Tolkienesque
Cenklerinde ulu kağanlar ve cebecilerin,
Kılıç ve kargılar tasvir edemediği hiçbir erin,
Baş veren başaklar kadar, uçsuz bucaksız,
Sayısız eller ve denizlere düştüler başsız.
Bahriye gürültüsüyle, doymaz obur ateşle,
Tutuşan ekinler ve köyler ardında orduların,
Yağmaların, yıkıntıların, cesetlere yakıtların,
Kentlerin yapıldığı, hazinelerin ve
Tirat of the Night:
Let us not waste our time in idle discourse! (Pause. Vehemently.) Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for once the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? (Estragon says nothing.) It is true that when with folded arms we weigh the pros and cons we are no less a credit to our species. The tiger bounds to the help of his congeners without the least reflection, or else he slinks away into the depths of the thickets. But that is not the question. What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come—
Sayfa 134
The sound of death was far away. It seemed now that Nature had no ears. The scene gave him assurance. This was a place holding life. It was the religion of peace. It would die if its calm eyes were compelled to see the blood. He believed Nature to be a woman with a deep unwillingness to see suffering.
explaining my depression to my mother a conversation
mom,
my depression is a shape shifter;
one day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, the next, it’s the bear.
those days i play dead until the bear leaves me alone.
i call the bad days the dark days.
mom says try lighting candles.
when i see a candle, i see the flesh of a church. the flicker of life sparks a memory younger
Sayfa 17Kitabı okudu
Sliding open the drawer where I kept them, I grabbed a condom package.
And then I stared at it.
There was a strange ringing in my ears all of a sudden…and my heart was pounding in my chest. The bathroom's light seemed to intensify whatever…insanity I was feeling.
What if…
Something took hold of me, the addiction that had been building inside me all night, unfurled, stretching its wings and transforming into…desperation.
Uncontrollable desperation.
She wanted to pretend this was a one night thing, but I knew better. And I knew she knew it on some instinctual level too. She wanted to run, because she was scared.
I couldn't let her run.
So this uncontrollable desperation inside me...turned into something else.
There was one way I could keep her.
Trap her so to speak…
I was having an out of body experience.
That was the only way to describe what was happening as I reached back into the drawer, and pulled out the sewing kit I kept in there. I pulled out one of the needles, watching as it glinted ominously under the unforgiving light.
No turning back now.
Carefully, almost mechanically, I began to puncture the condom package with the needle. One hole, then two, and soon a pattern of tiny punctures formed.
The voice of reason in my head screamed at me to stop, but the obsession, the overwhelming need to possess her, drowned out those voices.
Walker.Kitabı okudu
