reizen
@reizen
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puqi tapınağı
73 okur puanı
Ağustos 2020 tarihinde katıldı
Şu anda okuduğu kitaplar
Okuma Hedefleri
“It wasn’t as if Mo Xi had never tried to dissuade Gu Mang. He’d told Gu Mang that he was being too generous, and that Mo Xi’s future was uncertain; this grace might not be something he could repay. But army ruffian Gu-shixiong only laughed, his long lashes frosted over in the cold night. “Who said anything about repayment? You’re in my squadron and you’re my brother, so I need to protect you.”
“But I…”
“Enough with the buts. If it really bothers you, make note of everything you owe me in a scroll, and return it all with interest once you’ve made your mark.” Gu Mang ruffled Mo Xi’s hair with a smile. “Aiyo, my precious princess is such a finicky little fool.”
“Mo Xi had finally reached his breaking point. He fumed, “Do you think I’m your slave, to be called forth and sent back as you please?”
Unexpectedly, Gu Mang pointed to himself. “I am the slave. You are the lord.”
Silence.
“But you aren’t my lord,” Gu Mang continued, some confusion appearing on his face. “Jiang Yexue said the back of the collar had to be carved with your name, but you said it didn’t. Why?”
Mo Xi clenched his jaw. “Because I don’t want you.”
Gu Mang was dazed for a moment. He looked perplexed as he repeated, “You don’t want me. No one else wants me either. No one wants Gu Mang… So nobody wants Gu Mang?”
”
“Gu Mang opened his eyes and touched his neck without a word. Very quickly, he reached up again, this time turning his head and mumbling pensively, “Necklace…”
Mo Xi was leaning against the window, all long legs and narrow waist. When he heard Gu Mang say this, he stared blankly. “What?”
“Did you give me a necklace?” Gu Mang asked in astonishment.
Silence.”
Okur Takip Önerileri
“To be marked as a slave meant being collared. In accordance with Chonghua’s laws, any operation involving a slave collar—whether fitting it or removing it—needed to be approved by the emperor and carried out by an artificer. That collar Murong Lian had covertly put on Gu Mang back then was an unauthorized one. Later, after Gu Mang had achieved great merit in battle, the late emperor had issued an edict to overturn his status as a slave. Naturally, the collar on his neck was removed as well. The old emperor had given Murong Lian a severe tongue-lashing over the matter.
That day, Mo Xi had been the one who accompanied Gu Mang to the artificing workshop to have the collar removed. He had been wholly delighted for his shige, thinking his shige was so good—he should be free all his life. That Mo Xi had never imagined there would come a day when he, as Gu Mang’s new master, would lock that symbol of degradation and ownership back around his own Gu-shige’s neck.”
“All gone. I don’t know anyone in the dining room. Too many people. I won’t go in,” Gu Mang said haltingly, his eyes cold and clear. “Can only come here.”
“Why can you come here?” Mo Xi asked after a moment.
“Because I know you. You gave me water.” Gu Mang paused. “You taught me ‘life worse than death.’ You also bought my—”
Gu Mang was interrupted by the crash of a wine cup smashing into the wall. Mo Xi’s eyes gleamed darkly. “Shut up.”
“Hong Shao floated in midair and muttered her final words. With vacant eyes, she said over and over, “Turn around… Dage… I want to say a proper goodbye…”
Turn around, please—I don’t expect to grow old with you; I don’t expect you to give me your hand again, to take me on your journeys or teach me the sword. I was just thinking that, all along, I’ve always been the one chasing you, the one looking at you from behind. When we say goodbye, could you be the one to watch me go up the tower, to finally take a good look at me?
I don’t want to die like this, Dage. I never got the chance to say goodbye.”
“The final walls in his heart came crumbling down. Mo Xi closed his eyes. Just this once…only this once.
Heedless of whoever might see them, uncaring of what they would think, unbothered, even, by all that had happened between himself and Gu Mang—their deep and bloody hatred—Mo Xi lifted his hand to cradle the back of Gu Mang’s head and let him bite. He stroked Gu Mang’s hair, softly coaxing him, “It’s okay, it’s okay… It’s all over now…all over now…”
The pain was over.”
“What a coincidence.” Mo Xi paused for a second before speaking, his tone like ice. “I want you as well.”
“But Chonghua had refused.
The old nobles had refused.
Gu Mang’s soldiers had entered hell for the people of Chonghua and staggered out half dead, dragging corpses behind them. But the attitude of the person on the throne seemed to say:
Hm? Shouldn’t you all have died in hell? Why’d you come back? Where does that leave me? You’re an army composed of slaves and led by a slave. Surely Chonghua can’t bury your dead on Warrior Soul Mountain, much less reward the living with rank and riches equal to the nobility, can it?
Bastards should go home to hell. Desolate burial mounds will do. What need have you for tombstones? Why didn’t you all just die?”
“It was Gu Mang who had brought his brothers crawling back, who had returned the bodies of the dead. He’d seen hope, he’d seen the future, and so he had roared, enduring it all to say: Come, everything’s okay. You’ve named me General Gu, so I’ll bring you home no matter what. I’ll bring you home…”
“The mountain bride, all night she cried;
First she hates her helpless fate,
Second hates her ill-starred face,
Third their parting does she hate, a lost love left too late.
Garbed in scarlet, crowned in gold;
Once she laughs, face warped by hate;
Twice she laughs, blood streaks her face;
Thrice she laughs, and with that last, forever seals your fate.”
"Yapma......" dedi sonunda hafifçe titreyerek.
Mo Xi'nin göğsü kabardı, kollarındaki adama baktı ve nefretle dişlerini sıktı. "Ne yapmayayım?"
"Yapma....." Daha önce konuşma gücünü kaybetmişti ve şimdi korktuğu için yavaşça ve titreyerek konuştu. " Öldür ....."
Mo Xi: "......."
Masmavi gözleri canavarca bir ışıkla parlıyordu. Çok zor konuşuyor, beceriksizce yalvarıyordu. "Ben...."
Dudakları yavaşça açılıp kapandı. "Ben.... yaşamak istiyorum....."
"Gösterişli bir cenaze töreni istemiyorlar, sadece en başından beri sahip olmaları gereken ismi istiyorlar."
Ve taht odasının önünde kontrolünü kaybettiği o son öfkeli, ağlamaklı feryadı-
"Yani köleler sadece ölmeyi mi hak ediyor? Yani köleler gerçek cenazeleri hak etmiyor mu?!"
"Onlar da aynı şekilde kan döktüler, aynı şekilde öldüler! Zaten ebeveynleri yok, sonuçta isimleri bile yok! Neden Yue Ailesi, Mo Ailesi, Murong Ailesi'nin tüm ölüleri kahraman oluyor da benim kardeşlerim öldüğünde bir çukura atılıyorlar? Bana nedenini söyleyin!!"
Mo Xi'nin onunla huzurlu bir sürahi şarabı paylaşmayı hayal edebileceği tek durum, Gu Mang'ın içeride yattığı ve kendisinin de dışarıda durduğu mezarın başında olabilirdi. Onunla daha önce olduğu gibi konuşabilir ve mezarına ruhani enerjiden yapılmış bir buket kırmızı şakayık * koyabilirdi.