“How,” I asked again.
“He wouldn’t wait for us,” Mor said flatly. “He kept charging—trying to reform the line. One of their commanders engaged him. He wouldn’t turn away.
By the time Az got there, he was down.”
Azriel’s face was stone-cold, even as his hazel eyes fixed unrelentingly upon
that knitting wound.
Mor said again, “Where did you go?”
“If you’re about to fight,” the healer said sharply, “take it outside. My patient
doesn’t need to hear this.”
None of us moved.
Rhys brushed a hand down my arm. “You are, as always, free to go wherever
and whenever you wish. But what I think Mor is saying is … try to leave a note
the next time.”
The words were casual, but that was panic in his eyes. Not—not the
controlling fear Tamlin had once succumbed to, but … genuine terror of not
knowing where I was, if I needed help. Just as I would want to know where he
was, if he needed help, if he vanished when our enemies surrounded us. “I’m
sorry,” I said. To him, to the others.
Mor didn’t so much as look at me.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Rhys replied, hand sliding to cup my
cheek. “You decided to take things into your own hands, and got us valuable
information in the process. But …” His thumb stroked over my cheekbone. “We
have been lucky,” he breathed. “Keeping a step ahead—keeping out of Hybern’ claws. Even if today … today wasn’t so fortunate on the battlefield. But the
cynic in me wonders if our luck is about to expire. And I would rather it not end
with you.”
They all had to think me young and reckless.
No, Rhys said through the bond, and I realized I’d left my shields open.
Believe me, if you knew half of the shit Cassian and Mor have pulled, you’d get
why we don’t. I just … Leave a note. Or tell me the next time.
Would you have let me go if I had?
I do not let you do