Gün gelir yarattığınız sen ile gerçek sen'in aynı olmadığını fark etmeye başlarsınız. Dump dururken durgun suyun üzerine bir fiske vurulur, bir küçükk taş düşer hiç yoktan. Su dalgalanmaya mı başlamıştır? Büyünün bozulduğu ilk andır bu.
I know my head isn't screwed on straight. I want to leave, transfer, warp myself to another galaxy. I want to confess everything, hand over the guilt and mistake and anger to someone else. There is a beast in my gut, I can hear it scraping away at the inside of my ribs. Even if I dump the memory, it will stay with me, staining me.
“Kötü bir anıyı unutmanın en iyi yolu güzel bir tanesiyle değişmektir.”
O gece şehirde ondan bahsederken, bu zamana kadar orada gördükleri en huzurlu yüzün o adamınki olduğunu söylediler. Hatta bazıları onun âdeta bir peygamber gibi mübarek bir görünüşe sahip olduğunu iddia ettiler.
Sayfa 493
I thik this is the start of a friendship
A dripping spoon moves up and down the length of me. “You know,
more metallic. Reflective. Cold. But you’re all flesh and warmth, aren’t
you? All womanly curves and soft flesh, but just…” He tips his head as if
searching for the right word. “Gilded.”
My cheeks are hot beneath the shadow of my hood, and I shift on my
feet, undecided if I should spin around and walk away or if it’s worth it to
stay so that I can eat. Though, I realize that his words weren’t spoken with
any cruelty or lewdness, just with pure surprise instead.
“That’s why she’s called the gilded pet, you idiot,” one of the soldiers
gripes behind me, making me tense. “Now can you stop yapping and serve
us? We’re hungry, and your slop doesn’t get any better when it’s cold.”
Keg’s attention shifts over my head, and he points his spoon again,
making a particularly lumpy bit fall to the ground an inch away from my
skirts. “You can fuck off and wait in line, or I’ll dump this here slop on the
ground and then plant my foot up your arse, how about that, soldier?”
I can’t help it. I smile.
Keg sees, his smug eyes moving back to me, same as his still
outstretched spoon. “See? The gilded one gets me. That means she gets to
be served before the rest of you ungrateful lot.”
The men in line groan, but my smile drops off my face, and I shake
my head adamantly. “Oh, no. No, that’s okay. I’ll wait,” I insist. The last
thing I need is the men behind me taking offense and making me pay for it.
“What the fuck, Keg? She’s a Divine-damned prisoner!” One of them
directly behind me growls, which only proves that this is a bad idea.
Keg doesn’t look nearly as worried as I do. “Yeah, well, I like her
more than I like your annoying ass voice right now, and seeing as how I’m
the cook here, I decide who gets served. So you can take
yüzyılın başlarında , yani yaklaşk olarak benim dogdugum yıllarda yola çıkan, onyargilarla dolu bir dünyaya kendi cinslerinin politik, ekonomik ve ahlaki haklanru kabul ettiren, bugün saçları aklanmıl ve ayagmda botlan olan, gosterişsiz giyinen, yalnızca boynuna renkli bir şeyler takan ve kafalarmm iüzerine biçim siz ama akillarma estigi gibi şapkalar geçiriveren, sarsilmaz biç;imde yere saglam basan ve eskiden oldugu gibi şimdi de ortalıkta görünmeden yüzyılın bayrağı taşıyan o genç;
kızların kuşagi. Onlar yaşamm dortyol ağızlar dump günümüzün yoksul, gezgin şovalyelerini enselerinden yakalamak ve onlan dogru yola getirmek için biçilmiş birer kaftandır.
Sayfa 25 - YKY yayınları
Öldüğünde kim çiçek ister ki?
Boy, when you’re dead, they really fix you up. I hope to hell when I do die somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetery. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.
