été 85
‘Maybe I loved him. I wanted to spend every second of my time with him. But when I was with him. It was not enough either..’
First of all, love is a joint experience between two persons — but the fact that it is
a joint experience does not mean that it is a similar experience to the two people
involved. There are the lover and the beloved, but these two come from different
countries. Often the beloved is only a stimulus for all the stored-up love which has lain
Where the hell is everybody?
His mind grasped for answers as he crept down the silent street, searching desperately for a reason - and for some way to alleviate the sweaty anxiety that had once again settled over him.
Heart! We will forget him!
You and I tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave
I will forget the light!
When you have done, pray tell me
That I may straight begin!
Haste! lest while you're lagging
I remember him!
Yüreğim! Unutacağız onu!
Sen ve ben - bu gece!
Sen verdiği sıcaklığı unut
Işığı unutacağım ben de!
Başarınca söyle n'olur
Söyle ki hemen başlayayım!
Çabuk! Yoksa sen oyalanırken
Ben onu hatırlayacağım!
Sayfa 19Kitabı okudu
Finally, spoke the Phoenix. The god’s voice was dimmed by the Seal, but Rin could hear clearly every ring of its laughter. My darling little Speerly. At last we agree.
All shreds of affection she’d once felt for Nezha had burned away. When she thought of him she felt only a cruel, delicious hatred.
Let it smolder, said the Phoenix. Let it grow.
Fool, she thought. You loved him and you trusted him, and you walked straight into his trap.
Shakespeare is prohibited. There is a law against reading him. He makes people think and that is dangerous. That is why we do not allow people to read him.
“You poor thing.”
“What are you talking about?”
She just hugged him tighter. She didn’t want this moment to end. She didn’t want to have to go. “I just don’t want the world to break you.”
Rin spread her arms. “Come here.”
He leaned into her embrace. She held his head against her chest and rested her chin on the top of his head, silently counting his breaths.
She was going to miss him so much.
“You’ve known Neha for a few years. You met him when he’d perfected his masks and pretensions. But I’ve known him since we were children. You think that he's invincible, but he is more fragile than you think. Yes, I know he’s a prick. But I also know that he’d throw himself off a cliff for you. Please stop trying to break him."
Why was it that whenever she looked at Nezha, she wanted to either kill him or kiss him? He made her either furious or deliriously happy. The one thing he did not make her feel was secure.
With him there was no neutrality, no in between. She loved him or she hated him, but she didn’t know how to do both.
“Hey. Calm down.” Baji put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re shaking. What’s wrong?”
“Nezha’s over there.”
“And you’re afraid for him?i
She whispered without thinking. “I’m always afraid for him.”
“Ah. I get it. You’re in love.”
She stretched her arms toward him. He pulled her in against him so hard that she stiffened on instinct. Then she relaxed, because Nezha was so warm, so solid, and hugging him was such a wonderful feeling that she just wanted to bury her face into his uniform and stand there for a very long time.
“Do you love him?”
“Yes. More than anyone else in the world.”
“Then you don’t need to worry. If you love him, then you can trust yourself to protect him.”
“Our dead don’t leave us. They’ll haunt you as long as you let them. That boy is a disease on your mind. Forget him.”
“I can’t. He was briliant. He was different. You’d have never met anyone like him.”
“You would be stunned.” The Sorgan Sira looked very sad. “You have no idea how many men are like Altan Trengsin.”