2020 has shown me the toughest truth of my life. I don't deny the fact that bad things could happen in life but this one is totally different. It's not just "natural" stuff going on such as diseases, natural disasters, upcoming wars.
I could say that this is the very first time I'm being left alone by myself. It pushes me to think about "me." Whether we do it our way or not, we're all living a life. It's not that I'm anxious about the past or the future, it's just I'm actually trying for the first time in my life, to figure out if I'm living my life the way I want to. Is this "my" path that I'm walking through? Now that is a question.
In ways that no one would ever tell me, I've been telling myself that I'm important. This is what the chaos that the world's been going through has shown me. I can't say this is a bad experience; what is bad is that I've never been aware of this until I finally found some time to speak to myself, fully honestly and fearlessly. I don't think anything worse than not finding any time to discover the person you are could happen in life.
Ya sevdiğine kavuşman imkansızsa?
Kavuşman şart değil ki. Sevdiğin zaten kalbini ve ruhunu işgal etmiştir. Sen yoksundur, sadece o vardır.
-Kavuşsalar daha mutlu olmazlar mı?
Sen hiç aşık olmadın galiba. Doğuda yani benim geldiğim yerde, aşk sevdiğini kaybetmekle başlar.
“Bende hiç tükenmez bir hayat vardı
Kırlara yayılan ilkbahar gibi
Kalbim hiç durmadan hızla çarpardı
Göğsümün içinde ateş var gibi
Bazı nur içinde, bazı sisteyim
Bazı beni seven bir göğüsteyim
Kah el üstündeydim, kah hapisteydim
Her yere sokulan bir rüzgar gibi
Aşkım iki günlük iptilalardı
Hayatım tükenmez maceralardı
İçimde binlerce istekler