'' Question for you, Neil. Do I look dead to you?" He pointed up at his face, waited for Neil to answer, and didn't seem surprised when Neil didn't. "Here."
Andrew beckoned Neil closer as if he wanted to show Neil something on his phone's small screen. He flipped the phone open one-handed and pressed down hard on a single button. There was silence, then the distant hum of Andrew's phone dialing out. Between them Neil's phone started to sing. The words were different than Andrew's ringtone, but the voice was the same. Neil knew it was from the same miserable song. The lyrics hurt just as much as Andrew's had. Neil stared down at the phone and let it ring.
"Your phone is ringing," Andrew said. "You should answer it."
Neil picked it up with numb fingers and opened it. He spared only a second to look at Andrew's name on the screen before he answered and put it to his ear.
"Your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," Andrew said. "This is not news to you. But from now until May you are still Neil Josten and I am still the man who said he would keep you alive.
"I don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. I don't care if you never use it again. But you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." Andrew put a finger to the underside of Neil's chin and forced Neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "On that day you're not going to run. You're going to think about what I promised you and you're going to make the call. Tell me you understand."
believe them when they say
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest
Sayfa 29
sufi
Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi says...
The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you, don't go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want, don't go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth across the doorsill, the door is round and open,
don't go back to sleep!
I would love to kiss you, the price of kissing is your life.
Now, my loving is
I spin in circles and shoot and shoot and shoot. I keep pulling the triggers until the bank guard shoots me in the back of the head. I am still alive when I start to fall, but I die before I hit the floor.
Sayfa 34Kitabı okudu
Now I am alive, there must be a reason. I was given one chance, my heart still beating..
the art of being empty
is simple
believe them when they say
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest
"Still
Alive
Regrettably"
e-kitap olarak okuyorum.
Only dead people are allowed to have statues, but I have been given one while still alive. Already I am petrified.
Sayfa 3Kitabı okuyacak
The White Buffalo - Highwayman
open.spotify.com/track/3yxXllHcz...
Hayat denilen Highway engebeli, yokuşlu inişli ama mesele düşmemek, yürümeye devam etmek. Tüm yolların ardından "But I am still alive" diyebilmeniz dileğiyle..
"your parents are dead, you are not fine, and nothing is going to be okay," andrew said. "this is not news to you. but from now until may you are still neil josten and i am still the man who said he would keep you alive.
"i don't care if you use this phone tomorrow. i don't care if you never use it again. but you are going to keep it on you because one day you might need it." andrew put a finger to the underside of neil's chin and forced neil's head up until they were looking at each other. "on that day you're not going to run. you're going to think about what i promised you and you're going to make the call. tell me you understand."
Sayfa 117
I love Girl. I will explain what that is. When I look at her, I feel sick like I am going to die. I have never had the Great Disease (obviously, because I am still alive.) But my Uncle described it to me. He said there is a tightness in your chest, you cannot breathe, and you have anger towards the Gods because they are hurting you for no reason. I was going to ask him to explain more, but then he died. (He had been sick a long time, almost two days.) My point is: Girl makes me feel this way, like I am going to die. There are many women in the world. By last count, seven. But she is the only one I ever think about.
Primordial cell
I want to give only a very brief explanation of this. There are three possibilities for a cell; the first is death, the second is cell division; the third is fusion: a union, a merging with another cell, which almost always causes a division. Neither division nor union means death: it is a reproductive process, the changing of one living cell into two living cells that are virtually the same. They are both the living continuations of the original cell. The primordial cell came into being billions of years ago, and the primordial cell has survived in the form of trillions of cells. And it lives on still in every single one of all the cells alive now. And all life, everything that has ever lived and everything that is alive today, is the result of divisions of the primordial cell. It is therefore composed of the primordial cell, which is still alive. These are matters that no biologist can dispute and that no biologist will dispute. We are all the primordial cell, in a very similar sense (genidentity) to that in which I am the same person now as I was thirty years ago, even though perhaps not one atom of my present body existed in my body in those days.
Madoc barks out a laugh, his gaze going to me. “Daughter, every time I think you cannot rise any higher, you prove me wrong,” he says. “And I a fool to wonder if you were even still alive.”
“I am alive,” I say. “No thanks to you.”
you are nothing
repeat it to yourself
like a wish
i am nothing
i am nothing
i am nothing
so often
the only reason you know
you’re still alive is from the
heaving of your chest