"It's not your fault - you can't see what people are feeling." the person beside me had once told me.
This had made me feel better about myself. Until then I'd blamed myself for not understanding how people felt. I couldn't see what everyone else could see, and because of that, I hurt the people around me.
I didn't even really understand my own feelings, either. I'd been overthinking things under the illusion that I'd actually understood how people felt and was only pretending that I hadn't.
Sayfa 151 - Transworld PublishersKitabı okudu
Türkçe / English Review
Kitabın diğer incelemelerini incelerken çoğu okurun eserden "Çocuk kitabı" diye bahsettiğini gördüm ve 
Çizgili Pijamalı Çocuk ile benzer bir karışıklılığa girdiğini fark ettim. Maalesef günümüzde eserlerin baş kahramanları çocuk olunca hemen çocuk kitabı etiketi yapıştırılıyor içeriği göz önünde bulundurulmadan. Çizgili Pijamalı Çocuk 'da olduğu gibi travmatik
What is this throbbing in my chest? It beats so loudly. I can't take my eyes off you. I want to see all your different sides. I see... Yes, I get it now, I understand. This is "Love"! I love you. From now on, I'll love you dearly! Jeanne, I must have all of you. Marry me, and be mine...!!
This is why I can't stand brutes who don't understand a girl's feelings!
Song
Always said I had a way with words
Never knew I could be speechless
Don't know how I'll ever break this curse
Now the world is only white noise
Frequencies that I can't understand
"What can I do?" he asks with a wretched expression. "What can I do to stop you from doing that again? I don't understand emotions, but you do, Bran. You do spectacularly well, and I'm asking, no, I'm begging you to tell me what I can do to make it better. Should I fuck off out of your life? Cut contact? Not visit Mum and Dad while you're there? Will my disappearance stop you from having that nonsensical inferiority complex?"
"That's about the worst thing you can do, Lan. I need you by my side. I always have.”
bpd nd love
-
It's difficult, but please try to understand,
my behavior is something I cannot command.
At first, I'll be serene like a sweet daydream,
but then unstable and intensely extreme.
Enter at your own risk, but be aware,
loving me can turn into a nightmare.
I'm like a grenade, don't pull my trigger,
I'll explode your mind
"I am in a vague state at the moment, which is not good. I was born depressed and pathetic. I don't have deep thoughts or powers or insight. The only things I'm good at are regret and self-criticism, and even these I can only pause, never stop completely. I understand all this with my brain, but I have the hardest time modifying my behavour appropriately."
First of all, I don't get angry at anyone for no reason or want to break their heart because, as my grandmother said, breaking a heart is like destroying the most sacred place. Unfortunately or fortunately, I do not know the feeling of hate because I have loved all my life, but I did not hate anyone who made me angry and harmed us. I always
"The more someone loved me, the more I got bored of them. Perhaps not bored - they ceased to sparkle in my eyes. I look down on myself so much that I try to gain self-validation through the eyes of others. But because that's not a validation that I am able to accept, there's limit to how satisfying it can be, and I become bored of it. Which is why I go looking for someone else, and ultimately why I think someone liking me cannot in itself satisfy me, I'm devastated if someone I like doesn't like me and devastated when someone does end up loving me; either way, I am looking at myself through the eyes of another. In the end, I'm torturing myself. Because I don't love myself, I am unable to understand those who do love me in spite of it all, and so I test them. Even when the other person forgives me, I am unable to understand their forgiveness, and then when they give up on me, I torture and console myself with the 'fact' that no one could ever love. I don't want any more twisted relationships, and I'm tired of not being able to find satisfaction in the present and being obsessed with the past or having high expectations of new relationships. I have come to a point where I am no longer able to tell the difference between my loving someone and not loving someone I am so tired of myself being lost in the woods all the time with no plan of action, for having so little willpower and being so wishy-washy. What do I wish for? I want to love and be loved. Without suspicion, and with ease, That's it. I don't know how to love or be loved properly, and that's what pains me."
