Full Tree
« When I was young, my mom rounded up my family to take us somewhere to adopt a cat. We ended up falling in love with a pair of cats, a brother and sister that I named Kimi and Chuckie after the redheaded Rugrat and his adopted Parisian (??) sister. As we were adopting them, some rando saw what we were doing and, being the white man that he was,
I laid my head on his shoulder, crying for him because life was so fucking unfair sometimes.
"As you can probably guess, I don’t have a lot of great memories of my mom,” I whispered a little while later.
Lincoln’s entire body flinched, because my mother was someone I never talked about.
But I felt like telling him this; he deserved that at least, when he was so free with his own pain.
“But the grief still comes in waves sometimes, you know? And anger too. Because even though she couldn’t be who I wanted…who I needed…she was still my mom. And maybe she did the best she could, and I just need to accept that—anyways—what I’m trying to say—is that sometimes when it hurts, when it hurts so bad I feel like I can’t breathe, I send her light.”
“You send her…light?” Lincoln asked, clearly confused.
I nodded against his neck. “I think of the happiest things I can, and I picture sending them to her, wherever she is. Every time it hurts, I send her light. I tell her that I hope she’s happy, that I love her…and, that I forgive her. And then I release whatever emotion I’m feeling at that moment, and I send it her way.”
Monroe.Kitabı okudu
When we hate someone,
we think about him a lot.
Unable to let him go,
we gradually begin to act like him.
Don't let him become a long-term tenant of the heart.
Evict him right away with a notice of forgiveness.
Does the person you hate
deserve to be carried around in your heart?
Keep in your heart only those who love you.
First of all, I don't get angry at anyone for no reason or want to break their heart because, as my grandmother said, breaking a heart is like destroying the most sacred place. Unfortunately or fortunately, I do not know the feeling of hate because I have loved all my life, but I did not hate anyone who made me angry and harmed us. I always
"The more someone loved me, the more I got bored of them. Perhaps not bored - they ceased to sparkle in my eyes. I look down on myself so much that I try to gain self-validation through the eyes of others. But because that's not a validation that I am able to accept, there's limit to how satisfying it can be, and I become bored of it. Which is why I go looking for someone else, and ultimately why I think someone liking me cannot in itself satisfy me, I'm devastated if someone I like doesn't like me and devastated when someone does end up loving me; either way, I am looking at myself through the eyes of another. In the end, I'm torturing myself. Because I don't love myself, I am unable to understand those who do love me in spite of it all, and so I test them. Even when the other person forgives me, I am unable to understand their forgiveness, and then when they give up on me, I torture and console myself with the 'fact' that no one could ever love. I don't want any more twisted relationships, and I'm tired of not being able to find satisfaction in the present and being obsessed with the past or having high expectations of new relationships. I have come to a point where I am no longer able to tell the difference between my loving someone and not loving someone I am so tired of myself being lost in the woods all the time with no plan of action, for having so little willpower and being so wishy-washy. What do I wish for? I want to love and be loved. Without suspicion, and with ease, That's it. I don't know how to love or be loved properly, and that's what pains me."
From the best love confessions...
When she started biting her bottom lip nervously, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell even more. Her nerves and the way he was being so honest about his feelings was making him feel something deep inside of him for the girl in front of him.
He continued to keep an open and relaxed face after she asks him those questions, he had an answer prepared for her.
“I may not know everything about you yet but that doesn't change the facts that I already can tell that you are everything I am looking for in a woman.”
She looks at him under her eyelashes.
"And what are you looking for in a women?"
He took in a slow breath before he replied to her. His replies were getting slower and a little bit quieter now that they were talking about deeper things. He thought about what she asked of him for a bit before he finally answered her.
"Someone who isn't afraid to be herself, someone who can make me want to be a better person, and someone I can trust. These three things are extremely important to me... and I feel like you have all of them in you."
"Tell me what's it like being in love with someone who hurts you all the time?" I'm completely thrown for a moment. I blink a lot of times.
I let out a bewildered laugh. "Horrible."
Sayfa 100 - MagnoliaKitabı okudu
Dependencies
The only true freedom for a person is solitude. And what belittles solitude are dependencies. Loves, alcohol, nicotine, moral values, drugs... They can all be shackles at any moment, binding a person's feet. Pleasurable shackles. Their common characteristic is that the pleasure they provide is not felt after a long time, while their absence immediately creates a pain in the heart. A dependent person is like someone riding a merry-go-round. There is neither a destination nor progress in their life. Everyone ends up where they started, spinning until they can't stomach it anymore... A person's struggle with themselves begins with eliminating their dependencies. I struggled for years to let go of them all. For years, I peeled off the shells that covered my body and mind one by one. But like scars left by prematurely torn-off shells, traces remained in my mind. I realized, albeit late, that the only way to completely rid oneself of the dependencies that make a human an animal is to die. That was the difference between Kayra and me. He persisted in believing he could vaporize them all.
Anyway! Let's return to the ways dependencies are eradicated while still alive... They never end. They just change shape. If one that wants to be abandoned is removed, a new one is placed in its stead, that's all. That's the only way to rid oneself of a dependency. There is no independent person. Therefore, we choose what suits us best. We say, "I'll smoke, it makes me look taller." Or, "I love people, I want to always be with them, walk among crowded groups of friends," because admitting we're addicted to human flesh is a more polite way of putting it.
“Make your life like a garden where you have all types of people and interests and hobbies so that you always have something or someone to love and receive love. Have friends you adore, enjoy the hobbies you are passionate about, water your plants, and love your pets. Create things and build that relationship around you that keeps you excited so that love is always around you in every form. Life will be more colorful that way”
“Now, the problem is that people like you and me have been watching/listening/reading about these kinds of life incidents since childhood that subconsciously we have made a belief- one day someone will come to save you, rescue you, or rather fall in love with you.”
Maybe it sounds weird to say, but I know I could love the shit out of someone. I feel it, in my heart. This capacity to love. To be romantic and passionate. Like it’s a superpower I have. A gift, even.
And I’ve got no one to share it with.
Everyone thinks I’m a joke.
