Full Tree
When I was young, my mom rounded up my family to take us somewhere to adopt a cat. We ended up falling in love with a pair of cats, a brother and sister that I named Kimi and Chuckie after the redheaded Rugrat and his adopted Parisian (??) sister. As we were adopting them, some rando saw what we were doing and, being the white man that he was,
I laid my head on his shoulder, crying for him because life was so fucking unfair sometimes.
"As you can probably guess, I don’t have a lot of great memories of my mom,” I whispered a little while later.
Lincoln’s entire body flinched, because my mother was someone I never talked about.
But I felt like telling him this; he deserved that at least, when he was so free with his own pain.
“But the grief still comes in waves sometimes, you know? And anger too. Because even though she couldn’t be who I wanted…who I needed…she was still my mom. And maybe she did the best she could, and I just need to accept that—anyways—what I’m trying to say—is that sometimes when it hurts, when it hurts so bad I feel like I can’t breathe, I send her light.”
“You send her…light?” Lincoln asked, clearly confused.
I nodded against his neck. “I think of the happiest things I can, and I picture sending them to her, wherever she is. Every time it hurts, I send her light. I tell her that I hope she’s happy, that I love her…and, that I forgive her. And then I release whatever emotion I’m feeling at that moment, and I send it her way.”
Monroe.Kitabı okudu
When we hate someone,
we think about him a lot.
Unable to let him go,
we gradually begin to act like him.
Don't let him become a long-term tenant of the heart.
Evict him right away with a notice of forgiveness.
Does the person you hate
deserve to be carried around in your heart?
Keep in your heart only those who love you.
"The more someone loved me, the more I got bored of them. Perhaps not bored - they ceased to sparkle in my eyes. I look down on myself so much that I try to gain self-validation through the eyes of others. But because that's not a validation that I am able to accept, there's limit to how satisfying it can be, and I become bored of it. Which is why I go looking for someone else, and ultimately why I think someone liking me cannot in itself satisfy me, I'm devastated if someone I like doesn't like me and devastated when someone does end up loving me; either way, I am looking at myself through the eyes of another. In the end, I'm torturing myself. Because I don't love myself, I am unable to understand those who do love me in spite of it all, and so I test them. Even when the other person forgives me, I am unable to understand their forgiveness, and then when they give up on me, I torture and console myself with the 'fact' that no one could ever love. I don't want any more twisted relationships, and I'm tired of not being able to find satisfaction in the present and being obsessed with the past or having high expectations of new relationships. I have come to a point where I am no longer able to tell the difference between my loving someone and not loving someone I am so tired of myself being lost in the woods all the time with no plan of action, for having so little willpower and being so wishy-washy. What do I wish for? I want to love and be loved. Without suspicion, and with ease, That's it. I don't know how to love or be loved properly, and that's what pains me."
"Tell me what's it like being in love with someone who hurts you all the time?" I'm completely thrown for a moment. I blink a lot of times.
I let out a bewildered laugh. "Horrible."
Sayfa 100 - MagnoliaKitabı okudu
“Make your life like a garden where you have all types of people and interests and hobbies so that you always have something or someone to love and receive love. Have friends you adore, enjoy the hobbies you are passionate about, water your plants, and love your pets. Create things and build that relationship around you that keeps you excited so that love is always around you in every form. Life will be more colorful that way”
“Now, the problem is that people like you and me have been watching/listening/reading about these kinds of life incidents since childhood that subconsciously we have made a belief- one day someone will come to save you, rescue you, or rather fall in love with you.”
Maybe it sounds weird to say, but I know I could love the shit out of someone. I feel it, in my heart. This capacity to love. To be romantic and passionate. Like it’s a superpower I have. A gift, even.
And I’ve got no one to share it with.
Everyone thinks I’m a joke.
I'd never been in love. Never wanted to be in love. Hell, i didn't even know what love was. It was always something i'd heard about, not experienced, until I met a woman who cracked my ironclad defenses like no one had before. Someone who loved the rain and animals and Rocky Road ice cream on quiet nights. Someone who saw all my scars and ugliness and still found me worthy, and somehow, someway, she'd filled the cracks in a soul I never thought would be whole again.
Sayfa 343Kitabı okudu
“It wasn’t a kindness to accept a proposal from someone you weren’t in love with, however much rejection felt like wanton cruelty.”
Sayfa 68Kitabı okudu
Tell him, Nico di Angelo, said Cupid, voice sounding a lot like someone Nico knew. Tell him that you are a coward, afraid of yourself and your feelings. Tell him the real reason you left Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone.
The word echoed around Nico’s head in that strangely familiar voice: coward, coward, coward. That’s what he was,
Sanırım bunu hiç kimse okumayacak
Mystic poets of all traditions have often conflated romantic love with cosmic union, writing about God as a lover. Romantic poets have repaid the compliment by writing about their lovers as gods. If you are really in love with someone, you never worry about the meaning of life.
And what if you are not in love? Well, if you believe in the romantic story but you are not in love, you at least know what the aim of your life is: to find true love. You have seen it in countless movies and read about it in innumerable books. You know that one day you will meet that special someone, you will see infinity inside two sparkling eyes, your entire life will suddenly make sense, and all the questions you ever had will be answered by repeating one name over and over again, just like Tony in West Side Story or Romeo upon seeing Juliet looking down at him from the balcony.
Sayfa 173Kitabı okudu
